On a good day I laugh.
On the best days I laugh and cry.
Listen to Gayle reading the blog aloud.
Hello beautiful you,
Talking with a friend, I shared the growing importance of three words—“and what else”—the ability to relate to present moments with curiosity and the truth of partial perspectives. The phrase “and what else” gives us a chance to hold our beliefs and opinions lighter and welcome other views. We take ourselves less seriously and value connection over control. A lighthearted way results in more giggles and tears, more magic and mojo. Crying and laughing are my new superpower. That’s when I realized these are the best days.
Including these words in my way of going and relating with others and situations, is a growing practice. It’s easier to remain comfortable with my views, and compelling to convince others of the same. Yet something far more important than my views and comfort guides me. Hope.
The better world I imagine for all of us means more of us broaden our horizons.
In softening my stance, I’ve honed my senses too. When I encounter serious in another or a situation, or the person I am in connection with wants to be right, the air goes stale, oxygen depletes and the space shrinks. Fear permeates the field. My body signals an alarm matching the lack of air … warning, warning warning [alien approaching 🙂 for all you Lost In Space fans]. And what else becomes my sacred pause for a next move, a deep breath, a smile, a wonder question, or a gracious good-bye. Compassion grows and gives fear a warm hug. And what else shows the ground to play or when to walk away.
Wisdom from Kenny Rogers comes to mind—and he’s talking about money!—you’ve got to know when to Hold ’em, Fold ’em, Walk away, or Run – lyrics from his hit song, The Gambler. Speaking of money, and what else builds money maturity, really skillfully.
The rigid stories we hold from family messages, tethered to cultural beliefs find their way to a better story and broader vista by asking and what else, crying and laughing our way to kinder smarter people. Managing money improves asking and what else. We build confidence discerning the best choice in the situation.
What does this look like in practice?
After committing to asking and what else, be in life and something will happen to trigger a reaction. A trigger is a halt in flowing connection to another or situation. (Breath stops, eyes squint, tension arises. What do you experience?)
After ignoring my contact for months, my friend tells me she may not be able to pay back the loan I gave her.
In this trigger moment, I pause.
I drop the content and go inside my body to feel the sensations tied to the trigger.
I feel tightness in my jaw, queasy in my belly and ache in my heart.
[Pausing and noticing is HUGE. The pause gives space to ask: … and what else?]
I am sad and angry my friend did not return my calls.
I feel scared our relationship will deteriorate.
My father’s advice— never loan money. It’s better to make it a gift. —sounds in my mind.
[And what else is a gentle loving toss that edges us closer to connection and releases our grip.]
Seeing my truth, I see what might be true for my friend.
She’s scared too. She likely feeling shame, and connection with me only intensifies her shame.
My heart softens in compassion. I’m able to put what matters most into focus (our friendship) and let that lead. I’m able to express my truth—sadness, fear, anger and what’s most important to me.
Turning toward, I gently ask her, and what else in these words: how is this for you?
[Communicating in an and what else rhythm allows a bigger view to emerge. I do not guarantee “positive” outcomes. I contend that compassion and wisdom have a better chance to live in more perspectives.]
You know why—and what else—works?
We don’t leave anything behind. We recognize something bigger. Fear dissolves in compassion. We, as integral theory tells us, transcend and include all aspects of our blooming integrating life. In different words, we honor the person we were and are, into the person we are becoming, with appreciation, forgiveness, compassion.
How about you?
Are you willing to join me asking, and what else?
More companions gives hope to a better world.
And hearing your experiences would be divine.
So, what else?
Thank you.
Thank you for your attention and presence receiving this blog.
May this month of Thanksgiving bring you a swelling heart and sated belly.
Oceans of joy,
Tiny Body Practice
Sacred Pause
Stop. Be Still. Walk with me.
This stationary walk with me is silly. Spontaneous play can be. So, let’s call it a Sit with Me.
In your own space, wake down into a sacred pause. A sacred pause realizes the tender grace of the earth. So instead of waking up—as many of us enjoy—we wake down, into the gorgeous reality that our natural world shows us daily, holding us tenderly in sacred pause.
Just like Sit with Me is now a thing, so is a sacred pause. I know because I am not alone in sacred pause. Many of us are feeling the slow-down vibe, hunkering down and in, getting cozy and intimate with our bad as* self.
How do you slow down?
That’s a question for you to answer. I can say, let go, surrender, do only half of the tasks on your to-do list. But it really doesn’t matter what I say. Slowing down is personal and I’m asking you to tune in to yourself and ask, how do I slow down?
How can I slow down?
Am I willing to slow down?
What blocks me from slowing down?
When you get your answer(s), begin to practice slowing down.
When you do slow down, welcome to the Sacred Pause.
In a sacred pause, we…
- Put our feet up
- Take naps
- Chill to chill music
- Listen deeply
- Get bored
- Cry, sob and snot drips
- Enjoy new hobbies, like coloring or cooking
- Write – maybe letters, or notes, or in personal journals
- Release plans and deadlines
- Attempt yoga stretches and collapse in corpse pose
- Follow impulses – particularly ones we have previously ignored
- Sleep late
- Slow walks and long talks
- Rub our feet and hands
- Make messes – and leave them for several days
- Read and listen to podcasts
What else would you add to this list?
Deepening Practice
Walk With Me
And what else?
by Gayle | Nov 26, 2021
Hello my friend,
Our Walk with Me deepening practice for November is a Sit with Me in a sacred pause while asking … and what else? I’ve found there is no better posture asking that question than sitting still. While I describe the pause practice as sacred, that doesn’t mean you can’t flop on the ground. You can. Do it if it feels good and answers your current state and desire. Get in a pause position of your choosing.
And, make it sacred. Sacred in this tiny practice is as simple as cherishing yourself and this moment of a pause. Or, if it floats your boat to sizzle it up, by all means, add some sass and sparkle.
Tiny Body Practice
Sacred Pause
Stop. Be Still. “Walk” with me.
This stationary walk with me is a Sit with Me. In your own space and choice of posture, be still in a sacred pause. Many of us are feeling the slow down vibe, hunker down and in, getting cozy and intimate as the end of another year comes to a close.
Practice Preparation:
How do you slow down for a sacred pause?
That’s a question for you to answer. I can say, let go, surrender, do only three tasks on your to do list. But it really doesn’t matter what I say. Slowing down is personal and I’m asking you to tune in to yourself and ask, how do I slow down? With gentle nudges, I suggest you minimize or eliminate screen time, social media and devices. Without these external disruptions, begin reflecting.
How can I slow down?
Am I willing to slow down?
What blocks me from slowing down?
Wonder with these questions.
When answers arrive, choose to step into your sacred pause with writing material to capture your discoveries.
The Practice:
Take three breaths to arrive in your sacred pause.
Take three more breaths and allow your exhale to be longer than your inhale.
If counting helps, inhale to a count of 4, exhale to a count of 6.
Welcome to your Sacred Pause.
In a list format or mind-mapping or open space drawing, drop your awareness into your heart and begin to capture how you want to pause.
In a sacred pause, everything and anything goes, while expanding your heart’s inspiration.
You might…
- Put your feet up
- Take naps
- Chill to chill music
- Listen deeply
- Get bored
- Cry, sob and produce snot drips
- Enjoy new hobbies, like coloring or cooking
- Write – maybe letters, or sticky notes, or in a personal journal
- Release plans and deadlines
- Attempt yoga stretches and collapse in corpse pose
- Follow impulses – particularly ones previously ignored
- Sleep late
- Slow walks and long talks
- Rub your feet and hands
- Make messes – and leave them for several days
- Clean a drawer slowly
- Read and listen to podcasts
After 10 – 15 minutes of writing, review your page.
Choose three ways you want to engage a sacred pause.
Communicate your intentions, block time on your schedule, free up space.
Be FULLY IN your sacred pause nourishing your spirit and cherishing precious you.
Post Practice
Reflect on your sacred pause enjoying gentle breaths.
What are your favorite pauses?
What are you discovering?
Cherish your experience-whatever happened in your pause.
Express self-appreciation.
Claim Sacred Pause as a reliable Practice.