Heart Aches and Breaks

by | Sep 11, 2020

Listen to an audio recording of this blog post.

I promised to return to the 5 C’s of Connection. And I will. Just not this month. Sometimes something more important comes up and we go with that…

Let’s be real. Life is really challenging right now. Crazy. Scary. Weird. Maddening. Confusing. Truly I could fill a page of adjectives and I invite you to list yours.

This morning I awoke with a massive heartache. I cried a few bubble-ups. Stayed longer in bed than usual. Decided to take it easy, instead of ticking off my to-do list while moving to the next action. Movement and doing is one of the ways I “deal with” a crazy, scary weird world. And even though I am writing a month before you will read this, I am pretty confident that when publishing date rolls around, life will still be weird. You will still be concerned about the economy, your job, unemployment, Covid-19, schools opening and how kids are being educated. It’s okay.

We are okay. We just need to feel all the aches and breaks and take one step closer toward our resilience, our strength, our truth. In that intimate space of longing, we fuel ourselves to show up, a little braver, a little wiser and closer to who the world needs us to be and who we long to be for the world.

When you want to pull your hair out, or ball up under the covers, take a moment, one tiny moment, and try something new. I cried with one hand on my heart and the other on my belly. If sadness of any form arises, try it. If you see crazy and have been saying WTF a lot, how about shaking your hips while expressing, I am sexy! Seriously. You are. I have done that also – in curlers and baggy old flannel. Blow air kisses while whispering ‘hey gorgeous’. Flex your biceps and claim, you want a piece of these? Plunk your bottom on the ground and stomp your feet while shaking your head NO!

Your thinking mind may be saying this is stupid. These are indulgent actions. None of these actions really matter. All true and all partial. But honestly, I do not have a better response than a “stupid move” – which I prefer to name “creative expression” – meeting a situation, feeling, or experience we might not be able to rationally explain away. It simply wants attention, any kind of real attention.

Pick a move. Make up your own move. And try it. Experiment and see what happens.

After my weepy bed morning, I made coffee and went outside and wrote the poem you will find under Be Moved to Practice. Creative writing – maybe bad poetry – came to life through me, for me, and now for you. I am choosing an easy day leaving behind my schedule and list of priorities. I am choosing to follow my heart and inspiration, and yes, I may be shaking my hips saying “I am sexy” too. Guess what? I feel better. I hope you feel better too.

Here’s an ask, if you engage a new move, in response to your achy heart or scared belly or fuming back, please share your experience. I would love to know how you are meeting life today. We are better together.

We all need, deserve, want new moves, during these new times, that are so weird and crazy. Our bodies are right here ready to co-create. (Yes, here is an example of co-creation – like I promised from last month.) Co-create with your heart, your belly, your soul, speaking through you with sensations, emotions, and all ways to get your attention.

Weirding out with the weird world,


Be Moved to Practice

Grief

It is in this grief I know I have loved – so much.
It is in this grief I know my heart has been wide open.
It is in this grief I know the way humans can be for life and each other.
It is in this grief we get a glimpse of what really matters.

So, cry, blubber and wail ~
Allow the tears of your truth to prevail.
Feel pressure tighten in your heart
as it points the way to the depths of darkness today.
Feel the softening and whisper of breath lead you to the light of tomorrow.

Let grief have its way with you ~
Open the gates wide to all you have.
Allow the flood and trickles to save you.
Be intimate with all you gave.
In this exchange of flourishing energy,
Where nothing is left untouched,
You grow into your vessel
A little braver,
A little wiser,
A little more of what the world needs from you
And what you have always longed to give the world.

Our practice this month is, simply restore. For one minute, gaze into the rippling waves and feed yourself. Feel restoration in your heart, in your belly, in your spine, in your soul.

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