Hello my friend,
Take a breath. My question may have stirred up some stuff. It is not my intention to cause you discomfort.
At least since January, most of us have been on pins and needles, saturated in fear, confusion, uncertainty, doubt…and a whole lot more…as we navigate the waters of getting vaccinated for Covid-19.
When I ask the question, Have you had your vaccine?, any number of responses might arise. You might be vaccinated for months and feel a twinge of guilt, or entitlement, or deep gratitude.
You may be in panic, searching frantically for a vacant spot on the appointment systems of your state.
You may harbor fears and not want the vaccine, being an “anti-vaxxer.”
All of these emotional and mental responses are true, real, and welcome. For sure, we are all pickled in a field of fear that stirs up a lot of stuff.
And the stirring gives us an opportunity to step back, look, and listen. How do our bodies, our connections, our relationships, and our minds respond when we are rattled for our survival?
If we pay careful attention, we can see this: We’ve been steeping in the same brine of fear for years, for generations.
Why? Because fear is a common space for money — All. Of. The. Time. It’s the same pickling juice as our pandemic fear 2020 and our fear in 2021 as vaccination rolls out.
In Massachusetts, our permanent residence, the roll out of the vaccine has been challenging, as in many states. Our date of eligibility sat late on the calendar. Lucky for us, we were in South Carolina for the winter months, where eligibility opened sooner.
On the morning it opened, Rich began to schedule his round of vaccines. While I followed on my own computer, trying to coordinate a similar location and time slot, my panic topped the charts.
My breath shortened, my body contracted, I felt intense pressure and fear circulating as I clicked through CVS appointment questions. Available time slots were disappearing in front of my eyes. It was a digital free-for-all. Seriously.
By the time we finished, we had both scheduled our vaccines at the same CVS — three hours away, two days apart. This was the closest location available and we were elated.
But we were also rippling with the after-effects of fear and anger. My escalating panic and adrenaline coursed through my body – as if my survival was in question. Rich felt anger that I was not able to schedule closer to his appointment date.
Pause the scene, and look. All of us are here. It is confusing. It is challenging. It is preferential. Our current unorganized system is stirring and magnifying our scarcity thoughts, our scarcity feelings, our scarcity somatic imprints. When we are pickled in scarcity, fear is our breath, creating the pressure to survive.
We know this state. Most of us live in it with money.
On the day of my first vaccine, I shot (pun intended☺) a short video. Walk with me around the packing lot of this CVS in Hemingway, SC, a small silent sweet town skillfully administering Covid vaccine shots to people from all over the state.
As you take in my video and reflect on our current vaccination process, wonder: how does scarcity affect you, your relationships, and others?
How have our money systems mirrored the same field of scarcity for decades, centuries?
How do our money systems remain confusing?
What can we learn about fear embedded in the field of money scarcity?
Our nervous systems are, in fact, performing brilliantly. Let’s give our other systems an upgrade and pump some peace, loving-kindness and sufficiency through our veins.
Oceans of love dear you, stay safe,
Tiny Body Practice
Be with Your Belly
Our belly holds us and roots us down, safely, toward the ground into the earth. Gravity pulls us to stability and we feel less wobbly, more here. Our belly helps us know we are ok.
Posture Preparation
Sit on a chair close to the front where you can feel your bottom and sits bones solidly on the chair, and your back free from support. Your feet are flat on the floor, hands lightly resting on your thighs.
Practice
- Come into your body paying attention to your skin. Feel your body shape as the envelope of your skin.
- Begin to breathe into all of your pores as if your skin is breathing.
- Stay here “skin breathing” for three rounds of breath.
- Now, come closer inside noticing, not changing, where your breath is most prominent.
- Stay here breathing for three rounds of breath.
- Now, follow your breath closer for a count of four breathing in, and a count of six breathing out.
- Stay here breathing for three rounds of breath.
- Let go of your breath and bring your attention right into your belly, feeling the very center about four fingers down from your belly button and in the center between the front and back.
- Bring your breath into your belly expanding like a balloon in all directions.
- Stay here breathing for three rounds of breath.
- State: I am here on the inhale, feeling present and stable.
- State: I am grounded on the exhale, feeling gravity growing roots toward the earth.
Repeat this practice when you are feeling fear, having scarcity thoughts, and breathing in a survival pattern. Notice what shifts in your experiences of scarcity and survival.
Please share your discoveries. I’d love to hear from you.